INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS

“We all have parts that scare us—parts that we’re afraid to look at; parts that we run from because we are just too scared to look at them. But we can’t not look and we can’t not say it—and if we can’t say it with words, we find another way—and there is always another way.”

Mia, Little Fires Everywhere

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS (IFS): A PATH TOWARD HEALING

Internal Family Systems offers a transformative way of seeing yourself—not as a single, fixed, and unchanging identity—but as a beautifully complex system comprised of many different parts, each with its own perspective, feelings, experiences, and intentions. When these parts are understood, and met with curiosity instead of judgement, they begin to transform.

THE CONCEPT OF MULTIPLICITY

Multiplicity, within the context of IFS, is the idea that the mind is naturally made up of multiple parts, rather than being a single structure. Unlike other models, IFS holds that these parts make up the internal system, and that each part has its own unique perspective, feelings, and role. These parts interact with one another, much like the members of a family do.

PARTS: EXILES, MANAGERS, & FIREFIGHTERS

As a system, all parts are motivated and working to protect and adapt to life experiences. Some parts hold painful emotions and traumatic memories. Others work tirelessly to keep you functioning, often by suppressing, managing, or distracting from that pain. Parts typically fall into three categories:

Exiles are the guardians of our trauma. They are the parts of us that carry deep emotional pain, fear, and shame. These parts are often young, vulnerable, and hold the memory of painful wounds from our past. Because their feelings can be overwhelming to other parts of the system, managers and firefighters work hard to keep these parts hidden (or “exiled”) from conscious awareness. While exiles have a deep need to feel seen, they fear this will make the rest of the system vulnerable to being hurt again. When exiles are triggered, there is an explosion of emotion in an attempt to protect us from a perceived threat. In an effort to avoid feeling the pain these parts hold, we lock them away and abandon them. As such, they experience and hold the initial traumatic event and are then hurt again by the abandonment that follows. The abandonment becomes a secondary attack reinforcing the belief that they are unwanted, inadequate, and unlovable.

Managers are protective parts that work to keep a person safe and in control. Their main role is to prevent painful emotions (often held by exiles) from surfacing. Managers work proactively to prevent emotional distress before it happens. They often hold high standards, avoid or suppress emotion, and are risk averse. They may show up in our lives in the form of perfectionism, people-pleasing, or an internal critic.

Firefighters are the first responders of the internal system. They are the parts that emerge in response to emotional distress or trauma. Their primary role is to manage and extinguish overwhelming feelings and painful experiences—often through impulsive or distracting behaviors. Firefighters can appear reactive or impulsive. Their actions are driven by a desperation to alleviate emotional suffering. While they often employ harmful or destructive strategies, they are protective in nature. They may show up in the form of self-harm, addiction, or other destructive behavior. Firefighters are the last line of defense to shield an individual from deeper emotional wounds.

“Parts are not, in and of themselves, a problem—it’s the burden they carry. When parts are unburdened, healing truly begins.”

Bren M. Chasse, LMFT

THE SELF

IFS is rooted in a belief that every person is born with an innate capacity to heal. At the center of all our parts is the Self. When a person is able to access the Self, they have the capacity to experience peace, clarity, compassion, and wisdom. When the Self leads, healing occurs naturally. Your internal system shifts from chaos to cooperation, allowing you to experience resilience and the feeling of being whole. There is always a part that is untouched by trauma—this part is the Self.

HOW IS IFS DIFFERENT

“In healing, we rediscover parts of ourselves lost to trauma.”

— Bren M. Chasse, LMFT

IFS is fundamentally different from nearly every other therapeutic model. While many therapeutic approaches focus on symptom management and reframing negative beliefs or behaviors, IFS drills down with a focus on the root causes of the internal stress clients experience. Traditional models operate on the assumption that conflicting thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are something to be reduced, managed, or eliminated (e.g., self-sabotage, inner criticism). IFS, however, is rooted in a belief that everyone has different “parts” within them. From this perspective, internal conflicting voices are seen as distinct parts of the Self, each with a protective role and positive intent—even if the methods they employ may be extreme. For example, a perfectionist inner critic isn’t just being harsh for no reason—that part is trying to protect a wounded part from experiencing failure or rejection. Traditional models might approach the perfectionist inner critic by restructuring negative beliefs the client may hold about themselves, thereby eliminating the existing coping strategy and replacing it with a new one. In contrast, IFS addresses this protective part from a place of curiosity with the goal of understanding the role this part plays in the internal system and resolving the burden they carry, which then releases that part to integrate into the internal system and take on a new role that supports a feeling of wholeness and the feeling of being embodied.

HOW TO BEGIN THERAPY

If you are struggling, I am here to help. I offer a wide variety of trauma-informed services.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP TOWARD HEALING

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES OFFERED AT ANCHOR PSYCHOTHERAPY, INC.

In addition to Internal Family Systems (IFS), I offer a wide range of mental health services to support you throughout your healing journey. These services include individual therapy for all ages, couples therapy, child and family therapy, trauma-informed therapy, EMDR,, and eating disorder treatment. I also specialize in supporting individuals and families navigating high-conflict divorce, parental alienation, and complex family dynamics.