Therapy for Intimate Partner Violence & Coercive Control
INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE
High-conflict families are at an elevated risk for intimate partner violence, child abuse, and child neglect. As a therapist for IPV and coercive control at Anchor Psychotherapy, I have more than 15 years of experience working with both survivors and aggressors, and I have a comprehensive understanding of the cycle of violence, as well as how power and control are established. This understanding has deepened my awareness of the profound impact that violence has on a developing child. Specifically, the experience of intimate partner violence often casts a long, dark shadow over the lives of children, leaving behind profound but invisible scars that can endure well into adulthood.
Intimate partner violence within the home can shatter a child’s sense of security, safety, and trust—the very pillars upon which healthy development relies. Children who experience violence in their homes are forced to navigate a landscape of fear, confusion, and emotional distress while attempting to survive in an environment that feels like a war zone. These experiences shape the lens through which they view the world. Instead of seeing themselves as autonomous beings who can positively influence their environment, their lens is clouded by a harsh reality in which the people they love most inflict pain upon one another. Such a toxic environment not only results in psychological wounds but also disrupts crucial developmental milestones, hindering cognitive, emotional, physical, and social growth.
Research has consistently shown that children exposed to intimate partner violence are at heightened risk of experiencing a range of adverse outcomes, including but not limited to anxiety, depression, behavioral issues, and academic struggles. The impact of such exposure reverberates far beyond childhood, often perpetuating a cycle of violence that affects future relationships and perpetuates intergenerational trauma. When children are involved in or have witnessed intimate partner violence, the earlier we intervene, the better children fare. Effective intervention demands a multifaceted approach aimed at stabilizing the family system, safeguarding their well-being, nurturing resilience, and fostering healing.
COERCIVE CONTROL
Coercive control, originally defined by Evan Stark, Ph.D., is a unique form of intimate partner violence. It is characterized as a form of intimate terrorism or mental torture, encompassing harmful conduct that subordinates the will of another through violence, intimidation, and control. Specifically, coercive control consists of actions over a period of time that establish a pattern aimed at restricting another person’s freedom and autonomy. It is pervasive in nature, and its effects extend far beyond any visible scars. This form of psychological manipulation systematically erodes an individual’s autonomy, self-esteem, economic independence, social relationships, physical health, and agency, coercing them into submission through a relentless cycle of intimidation, isolation, and degradation. The effects can penetrate virtually every facet of a person’s life, infiltrating their thoughts, emotions, and decisions, until they are trapped in a suffocating prison of fear and dependency, making it difficult for them to identify a path toward independence from their abuser.
The mental health effects of coercive control are profound and multifaceted, often manifesting in a complex pattern of psychological symptoms that can endure long after the abusive relationship has ended. Victims of coercive control frequently experience intense anxiety, constantly living in fear of the perpetrator’s unpredictable reactions and escalating violence. They may also grapple with chronic depression, as the relentless onslaught of manipulation and gaslighting chips away at their sense of self-worth and purpose, leaving them feeling hopeless and defeated.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is another common consequence of coercive control, with survivors plagued by intrusive memories, flashbacks, and hypervigilance long after they have escaped the abusive environment. Additionally, coercive control can induce feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, as victims internalize the distorted narratives perpetuated by their abusers, further exacerbating their psychological distress. These mental health challenges often intersect with physical health issues, such as insomnia, headaches, and gastrointestinal problems, as the cumulative toll of the abuse destabilizes the victim and diminishes their overall well-being. The scars left behind by coercive control are deep, demanding comprehensive support and intervention to empower survivors to reclaim their autonomy, develop a sense of self, break the cycle of abuse, and restore their dignity and freedom.